ALONE

Alone

You’ve been sitting in the armchair for what feels like hours. Every few moments, your gaze drifts to the clock, the minute hand slowly creeping forward. You stare blankly at the colorful TV screen, raising a glass of vodka mixed with energy drink to your lips. Your eyes keep darting to your smartphone, hoping to see an incoming call from them. You know you’re being irrational, foolish. Love is absurd, insane, and pointless, especially when it’s one-sided. You’re like an unwanted stray in a shelter, longing for any passerby to pet or scratch behind your ears. Like that dog, chased, kicked, abandoned, you look longingly, love, and are ready to forgive everything, for a single smile, a word, a touch. The worst part is that you’re aware of it, you KNOW, and yet you wait and yearn. You’re slowly losing respect for yourself, losing faith in the strong will you were once so proud of. You glance at the clock; the hands have shifted, but only slightly. The glass is empty, get up and refill the so-called drink, you need to numb yourself today. They say alcohol doesn’t help, but you don’t do this too often. You’ve turned on some sad music again. The violin combined with Anita Lipnicka’s melodious voice, beautiful of course, but this music isn’t doing your mood any good. Now Seweryn Krajewski, it can’t get any worse today. Men don’t cry – thank goodness!