Alone

On the clock, the minute hand lazily creeps forward. You stare mindlessly at the colorful TV screen, raising a glass filled with a clear vodka and energy drink to your lips. You keep glancing at your smartphone, hoping to see it ring. You know you’re being irrational, foolish. Love is absurd, insane, and pointless, especially when it’s one-sided. You’re like an unwanted dog in a shelter, yearningly sticking your head out at every passing person, hoping someone will pet or scratch behind your ear. Like that dog, chased, kicked, abandoned, you look longingly, love, and are ready to forgive everything, for a single smile, for a word, for a touch. The worst part is that you realize this, you KNOW it, and yet you wait and yearn. You’re slowly losing respect for yourself, losing faith in your strong will, which you were once so proud of. You look at the clock, the hands have changed their position, but only slightly. The glass is empty, get up and refill your so-called ‚drink,’ today you need to numb yourself. They say alcohol doesn’t help, but you don’t do this too often. You’ve turned on sad music again. The violin combined with Anita Lipnicka’s melodious voice, of course beautiful, but this music doesn’t improve your mood. Now Seweryn Krajewski, it won’t get any better today. Men don’t cry – thank goodness!